“Amazing Race,” crazy twist, and more on “That Voice!”

by,

Suzanne Coleman

 

So all of you guys who have been keeping up with my “Bachelor Gossip” posts (and you know who you are ūüôā ) have probably already read my post on Whitney’s voice. ¬†If you haven’t, you can read it here:

https://sliceiconic.com/2015/02/18/bachelor-gossip-whitney-and-that-voice/

So now, there is another girl to add into the discussion! ¬†On this night’s premiere of “The Amazing Race,” one of the girls on a blind date FOR THE ENTIRE RACE! (awesome idea btw directors) is Hayley, a very (bleached) blond girl who is also a nurse. ¬†Right away when she talks you can hear that she¬†speaks in a very high-pitched voice, just like Whitney on “The Bachelor” does. ¬†If you watch Hayley’s¬†interview on cbs.com you can hear that her voice is not always up that high though. ¬†For her, it’s hard to say, but I think it¬†might be some of¬†the same issues as for Whitney (the “little girl voice”), but I think¬†anxiety might be¬†a bigger factor because¬†she goes in and out of the high voice while she’s being interviewed. ¬†I can understand that, I mean, she IS being filmed to be watched by millions of people‚Ķ yikes! ¬†I have to say, that is pretty darn brave.

When they started racing, and her and her partner disagreed on which way to go, I loved it when she was right and her partner was wrong! ¬†LOL in your face, boy! ūüôā ¬†I’m starting to like her…

So back to this season’s premiere of “The Amazing Race,” what a crazy idea to put together two total strangers for a how many months-long race around the world? ¬†Crazy! ¬†High stress but also what an amazing (ha!) opportunity, don’t you think? ¬†I can’t wait to see what happens with all of these pairs this season. ¬†It will be very interesting and I applaud the show for coming up with a truly new idea to freshen up not only reality shows but this one in particular that of late has¬†not been keeping my interest.

I am going to call this “the love season.” ¬†Something that is long overdue ūüôā

 

 

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Is Carly from “The Bachelor” a Sociopath?

 

The Bachelor Gossip, framed

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

 

She’s been called “evil.” ¬†She’s been called a “bully.” ¬†But, what is she really?

Well,¬†we can’t really tell just from some clips of her, because you know how editing can make someone seem like something they’re not, but what we saw in those clips does give us an idea of what kind of a person she might be. ¬†Let’s talk about what behavior we see in those clips.

She seems to lack empathy. ¬†This means that¬†she seems to have¬†no heart, and doesn’t seem to feel for other people, and for what they are going through. ¬†This is not normal.

She seems to enjoy watching other people suffer.  This is not normal.

She seems to do things to make other people suffer.  This is not normal.

She seems to manipulate Chris Soules, and seems to try to manipulate the other girls, so that they will all hate Britt.  This is not normal.

She jumps all over one thing that Britt said and can’t seem to understand that people can say things about something and then change their minds after they learn more about it. ¬†Carly seems really rigid and inflexible in her beliefs. ¬†That is not normal.

What do all of these behaviors have in common? ¬†They are behaviors that you can see in someone who is a sociopath. ¬†Now, I want to be clear, this isn’t saying that Carly¬†is a sociopath, we don’t have enough information to make that type of assessment. ¬†But it is important for everyone to understand that “bullies” and “mean girls” can¬†have¬†behaviors¬†characteristic of sociopaths and other types of psychopaths. ¬†“Sociopath” and “psychopath” are terms that refer to people with types of mental illnesses that are called personality disorders.

The medical term for sociopath is “anti-social personality disorder.” ¬† There are several types of personality disorders, all of which can¬†cause problems in relationships, but anti-social personality is one of the worst.¬† Approximately¬†one out of every 75 men, and one out of every 300 women is a sociopath. ¬†People with anti-social¬†personality disorder can be very destructive to those around them; they often seriously disrupt families, businesses, organizations, governments, and society in general. ¬†And they are all around us.

How do you know¬†when you are dealing with a sociopath? ¬†Sometimes it can be hard to tell because some of them are very intelligent and hide their bad behaviors very well. ¬†On the other hand, there are the ones that aren’t trying to hide¬†their behaviors. ¬†Sometimes people call them assholes, and sometimes people call them jerks. ¬†Sometimes people just don’t know what to call them, they are so completely abnormal in their behavior, it leaves others speechless.

But whether they are easy to identify or not, sociopaths do things that other people¬†would not. ¬†Some deliberately hurt other people for their own personal entertainment. ¬†Some¬†spread malicious lies behind other people’s backs in order to cause chaos and disruption. ¬†Some act in a calculated manner to ruin people’s relationships, their reputations, their jobs, and more. ¬†Sociopaths live as though¬†the law and the rules do not apply to them, and that they can do whatever they want and get away with it. ¬†Ethics don’t exist in their world.

And to top it all off, some¬†sociopaths will find¬†the horrible things that they are doing to be really funny. ¬†And they will enjoy planning and executing¬†them, like it’s a game. ¬†You can often find them smirking to themselves as they plot against you, literally. ¬†If you see any of these¬†behaviors in someone, think sociopath.

An interaction with a¬†sociopath¬†will often¬†elicit¬†a strongly negative reaction from you, and you may not be able to figure out why you are feeling so upset. ¬†It might be because you can sense that they are violating your boundaries, or that they are¬†showing their lack of concern for right and wrong. ¬†Pay attention to those feelings, and remember this article if you ever encounter anyone like this. ¬†It’s usually best to stay away from them if you can. ¬†But if you can’t, it may¬†be helpful to directly confront their behaviors in front of a group of other people who can witness what happens (unless they are sociopaths too). ¬†Otherwise the sociopath will keep on manipulating and lying and playing their evil little games behind everyone else’s backs.

 

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Please note that this is a very broad and complex topic and that this article only discusses limited aspects of it.  The above is for informational and educational purposes only.  If you have any specific questions or concerns, please see a physician or mental health professional.

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Beautiful pink explosion of nature!  Original abstract art for your home or office, by Suzanne Coleman. ©Suzanne Coleman, all rights reserved.

Beautiful pink explosion of nature! Original abstract art for your home or office, by Suzanne Coleman.
©Suzanne Coleman, all rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Art for sale HERE:  https://www.etsy.com/listing/211491305/bright-pink-flower-abstract-art-on?ref=listing-shop-header-0

 

 

Bachelor Gossip: Whitney and that VOICE!

 

The Bachelor Gossip, framed

 

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

Ok, first of all, I want to say Whitney seems like a really decent person. ¬†She’s got her life together, she hasn’t been shown to be mean like Carly to the other girls, and she respects herself. ¬†I wanted to be clear on that because I’m not writing this to put her down in any way, I’m writing it because I have noticed something about the way that she speaks which¬†I think that¬†we as women should all take a moment to think about in regards to ourselves and the women and girls around us. ¬†I mean for¬†this to be a positive post, not a negative post.

So if you’re watching ABC’s “The Bachelor” (and we know you all are!) you know that Whitney is a young lady from Chicago who is vying for the attention of a farmer dude from somewhere in the middle of nowhere, pretty much¬†literally. ¬†She’s one of the final three ladies left before he decides who he likes the best for himself (she can say yes or no, but they usually say yes…).

From the first time they showed Whitney* on the show, I noticed that her voice¬†was very high pitched and a bit whiney. ¬†It came¬†across as if she was trying to sound like a little girl who is trying to get attention. ¬†I have noticed this same kind of behavior in¬†many girls and women before. ¬†They seem to be deliberately, though not necessarily consciously, mimicking a young girl’s voice and behavior. ¬†I think that it’s something that some women do subconsciously in order to get attention from men. ¬†I think it might have¬†to do with their relationships with men growing up, or other people around them, who might respond more willingly to what sounds like a young girl who needs help.

I have noticed that men do seem more interested in women who speak this way.  Men may be hard-wired to do so.  And girls who find that they get more attention by using this type of voice are probably more likely to continue to use this behavior to get attention as they grow up into adults.

I think that women, on the other hand, respond more negatively to this type of behavior. ¬†I think that when we see a young lady or woman acting¬†like a child who doesn’t speak in a way that we would expect for their age and maturity level, it bothers us.

When someone speaks this way, it might also¬†be related to some kind of anxiety over one’s self and how you fit in with others around you, like a self-esteem issue or insecurity. ¬†Anxiety can cause the voice to rise upwards in pitch, so it may be a part of why¬†the high voice happens as well.

I would like to suggest to the women and young women out there who find themselves speaking in a¬†voice that is higher than their actual voice, or in a submissive or needy way towards men or others, to make yourselves aware of that behavior and see if you can stop that habit. ¬†I’d like to see all girls and women proud of who they are, and not acting overly submissive, like a child, towards others¬†to get attention or anything else that they might want or need. ¬†You should not be afraid to speak out and speak up for yourself. ¬†If you find that you do feel that way, then that is something that you should explore. ¬†I am a strong supporter of counseling as a way to find the strongest, healthiest you.

So getting¬†back to “The Bachelor,” I’m pretty sure he picks Whitney in the end. ¬†Why? ¬†On the first show they highlighted her a lot and it really stuck out to me. ¬†They seem to do that with the finalists and more so with the winner. ¬†Just a feeling‚Ķ I guess we’ll find out soon enough!

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* Now I want to note, that I mention Whitney because so many of you noticed her voice.  I thought it would be a great opportunity to bring up this topic and I am using her voice as an example, but please realize that none of the discussion comments in here are about her in particular.

 

 

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Bachelor Gossip, Jade

The Bachelor Gossip, framed

 

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

Hi all, I just wanted to talk about “The Bachelor” a little bit. ¬†For those of you who are watching, let’s talk about last night’s episode, shall we?

So if you watched, you saw the super cute and sweet young lady named Jade tell the Bachelor, Chris, about her past. ¬†She was holding on to a big secret and it was time to tell it. ¬†She had posed for “Playboy.” ¬†She sat him down and they talked about it, she even showed him the pictures and video of it (I’m not sure why) and then he told her how it didn’t matter to him. ¬†And then he cut her loose.

So, let’s talk about that. ¬†I want to know what you all think. ¬†Do you think she should have told him? ¬†Do you think she should have showed him her pics and the video of her nude? ¬†Do you think he let he go because of it, even though he, of course, said it wasn’t that at all…

Here are my thoughts on it all. ¬†I think she should have told him, but much later in their relationship. ¬†There was no need to tell him at this point as they are really just starting to get to know each other and find out if there is a connection between them. ¬†If they found that they were in love and headed for a serious relationship (I know, this show isn’t really normal life‚Ķ), I think that then she could tell him about it.

Should she have shown him the pictures? ¬†In my opinion, absolutely not. ¬†He didn’t ask to see them, and it was not necessary or appropriate. ¬†That might have been the deal-breaker more than anything. ¬†It would be so uncomfortable to be in a new relationship with someone, and to have them show you nude, and probably not so “artistic,” pictures of themselves. ¬†And even video. ¬†Besides making the other person very uncomfortable, they would have to question why you would want to show them these very personal photos of yourself. ¬†Plus, you are really ruining the mystery in that aspect of the relationship. ¬†Now, discovering each others’ bodies will be a bit, tainted.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong (or right) with her posing, that is her decision absolutely. ¬†The human body is something that we all have, there is nothing shameful about it and we should never feel that there is. ¬†But it is something special, which for her is now out there in the open and has changed the way that he looks at her and thinks about her. ¬†I think that is unfortunate.

I wish her the best, and I hope she finds it. ¬†I think she can do better than Chris anyway ūüôā ¬†I did really like what he said to her as he let her go, he told her that knowing her was “a gift.” ¬†I think that is one of the most beautiful things that I have ever heard.

http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/cast/19-bachelorette-jade

 

 

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Beautiful preserved oak savannah along Lake Michigan by Suzanne Coleman.  ©Suzanne Coleman, all rights reserved.  Click on the link below to go to the shop.

Beautiful, preserved oak savannah along Lake Michigan, by Suzanne Coleman.
©Suzanne Coleman, all rights reserved. Click on the link below to go to the shop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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https://www.etsy.com/listing/208012241/fort-sheridan-savannah-in-fog-nature-art?ref=listing-shop-header-2

 

 

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