Bachelor Gossip: Whitney and that VOICE!


The Bachelor Gossip, framed



Suzanne Coleman, MD

Ok, first of all, I want to say Whitney seems like a really decent person.  She’s got her life together, she hasn’t been shown to be mean like Carly to the other girls, and she respects herself.  I wanted to be clear on that because I’m not writing this to put her down in any way, I’m writing it because I have noticed something about the way that she speaks which I think that we as women should all take a moment to think about in regards to ourselves and the women and girls around us.  I mean for this to be a positive post, not a negative post.

So if you’re watching ABC’s “The Bachelor” (and we know you all are!) you know that Whitney is a young lady from Chicago who is vying for the attention of a farmer dude from somewhere in the middle of nowhere, pretty much literally.  She’s one of the final three ladies left before he decides who he likes the best for himself (she can say yes or no, but they usually say yes…).

From the first time they showed Whitney* on the show, I noticed that her voice was very high pitched and a bit whiney.  It came across as if she was trying to sound like a little girl who is trying to get attention.  I have noticed this same kind of behavior in many girls and women before.  They seem to be deliberately, though not necessarily consciously, mimicking a young girl’s voice and behavior.  I think that it’s something that some women do subconsciously in order to get attention from men.  I think it might have to do with their relationships with men growing up, or other people around them, who might respond more willingly to what sounds like a young girl who needs help.

I have noticed that men do seem more interested in women who speak this way.  Men may be hard-wired to do so.  And girls who find that they get more attention by using this type of voice are probably more likely to continue to use this behavior to get attention as they grow up into adults.

I think that women, on the other hand, respond more negatively to this type of behavior.  I think that when we see a young lady or woman acting like a child who doesn’t speak in a way that we would expect for their age and maturity level, it bothers us.

When someone speaks this way, it might also be related to some kind of anxiety over one’s self and how you fit in with others around you, like a self-esteem issue or insecurity.  Anxiety can cause the voice to rise upwards in pitch, so it may be a part of why the high voice happens as well.

I would like to suggest to the women and young women out there who find themselves speaking in a voice that is higher than their actual voice, or in a submissive or needy way towards men or others, to make yourselves aware of that behavior and see if you can stop that habit.  I’d like to see all girls and women proud of who they are, and not acting overly submissive, like a child, towards others to get attention or anything else that they might want or need.  You should not be afraid to speak out and speak up for yourself.  If you find that you do feel that way, then that is something that you should explore.  I am a strong supporter of counseling as a way to find the strongest, healthiest you.

So getting back to “The Bachelor,” I’m pretty sure he picks Whitney in the end.  Why?  On the first show they highlighted her a lot and it really stuck out to me.  They seem to do that with the finalists and more so with the winner.  Just a feeling… I guess we’ll find out soon enough!


* Now I want to note, that I mention Whitney because so many of you noticed her voice.  I thought it would be a great opportunity to bring up this topic and I am using her voice as an example, but please realize that none of the discussion comments in here are about her in particular.



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  1. I have been complaining for years about the nasal quality in the voices of sooo many young women today. Whether they do it on purpose or have learned in inadvertently at home or from friends…GET THEE TO A VOICE AND DICTION teacher. It will do wonders for you and your relationships PLUS help you in your career.


  2. I completely agree. I think everything about the way Whitney speaks eludes to self esteem issues. She doesn’t have the confidence to allow silence in conversations and she seems to be thinking more about what she is going to say then allowing the conversation to naturally evolve. Which also makes her come off as a little contrived…though her heart isn’t fake. I think she is self aware enough to realize, albeit subconsciously, her deep insecurities and that’s why she didn’t allow herself to watch the show. Out of the entire thing what upsets me the most is he talked more about how he felt about Becca then Whitney. Whenever referencing Whitney the only response he had was what a good decision he made. What woman wants to be a mans good decision. I don’t want to be the good decision…I want to be the I can’t live without you girl. Good decision reeks of settling. The ONLY time he referenced her as the love of his life was in his Instagram post after the final rose. And even on their last date…it just didn’t seem right. She was still clamoring for his attention and affirmation and trying to get it by saying the right things and affirming how much she loved Him. It’s makes me sad.


    • Really good insights! I agree, there were many moments where it seemed fake, but others where they seemed genuine. I talked about that too, in the last rose blog and the new one from yesterday about their future together.


  3. Not only her voice but the way she conducts herself in a conversation. She doesn’t seem to have the confidence to allow for silence. She talks much more than he does…but not in a natural flow of a conversation but more In the way of….thinking about what she’s going to say next…what she thinks she should say next. It was so disheartening to watch Chris talk so much about his feelings for Becca. And only refer to Whitney as a good decision. Who wants to be someone’s good decision. I want to be the one you’re madly in love with that you can’t live without. I think on a subconscious level she is aware of her deep insecurity…which is why she didn’t allow herself to watch the show. Because if she had it would have been….Chris in love with Britt followed by Chris falling in love with Kaitlyn and Chris in love with Becca…and ending it all with ol’ reliable, the good decision, the “sure thing” Whitney. Even their last date and proposal was sad to me…it was like she was saying pick me pick me.

    Felt good to get that all out lol. Thanks!!


    • lol good summary! And I think you are right about that too. About the comments, the website has me approve them that’s why it didn’t appear sooner. I’m not sure if I can change that yet, but I guess there is no message telling you that is what is happening?



  1. […] The show starts out with Whitney at Chris’ house, she’s putting on a good show.  She says all the right things and does all the right things, and everybody just LOVES her!  Is that real?  (I already can’t stand her voice… I am trying…  If you haven’t already seen my article on her VOICE, check it out here!  It’s a must read: […]


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