OMG what is happening with The Bachelor people?!

The Bachelor Gossip, framed

by,

Suzanne Coleman

So much to talk about!  Did you hear, NICK is the new bachelor?  OMG I KNEW IT!  🙂  Good for you Nick, and good luck.  It’s funny looking back to when I was one of only two or three people who stood up for him on facebook… and now look at how things are going.  It’s a nice story, the moral being, hang in there, be yourself, and hopefully the good people will turn around and support you in the end against the evil ones, and they did!  Good job people 🙂

Now on to the CRAZY.  Are you watching “Bachelor in Paradise?!”  OMG.  That Ashley is SO CRAZY.  And Jared, WHAT is wrong with you man?!  Ashley is NOT your friend, she is an obsessive personality who has no empathy for other human beings and uses them for her own personal gain.  She treats the woman you are interested in HORRIBLY and you continue to support her behavior?  That’s called enabling.  If nothing else comes out of this experience for you PLEASE get counseling, it will literally change your life.  The way that you are responding to these situations is not good for you, for Caila, or for Ashley.

Ashley is manipulative, lacks empathy, is self-centered, and obsessive, all of these point to psychiatric problems, especially personality disorders or traits.  I say this not to make anyone feel badly, but to give people some insight into why their lives aren’t going the way they would like them to.  It’s hard when you grow up surrounded by people who are similar to you, for you to realize that you have issues that are not healthy and need to be addressed, and these need to be addressed by YOU.  Take action, make steps to a healthier you.

Speaking of Caila, wow what composure.  Good job.  I have a lot of admiration for how she handled that situation, having enough sense to realize that there is nothing that she can do to change Ashley’s abnormal behavior, or Jared’s, and walking away for her own mental health.  She sets a great example for others in situations like that.

There is so much else that is happening now but I’ll leave it at that for now.

Ok, I can’t help myself, one more note!

I’m really glad for Carly’s sake to find out that Evan’s interest in erectile dysfunction doesn’t seem to stem for his own personal issues. Go CARLY!  🙂

Until the next time, keep watching!

[For those of you who like a little humor, why not re-live a little bit of what caused all of the controversy (ok some of it) with Nick in the first place?  Click here to check out my hilarious parody 🙂 Have fun! ]

 

 

 

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Zika Virus Safety, new Guidelines

Doc's Corner graphic

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

People in both Ohio and Indiana have recently tested positive for the Zika virus.  These people had recently traveled to countries where there are higher incidences of the virus.  Zika is now known to be in several states in the US.  As such, it makes sense to use caution and educate yourselves about the risks of this virus.  The main concern is that pregnant women who are infected with the virus have a much higher risk of their baby being born with microcephaly, a severe malformation.

I have just received some updated recommendations from the Indiana Dept. of Health regarding how to try and stay safe from the Zika virus while pregnant or planning to become pregnant in the US currently:

This advice is for people whose sexual partners have been exposed to Zika:
Male suspected Zika patients should also be advised to abstain or use condoms during sex (oral, vaginal, or anal) until test results are available.”
I would also add that pregnant patients should avoid contact with female sexual partners who have been exposed as well, or use similar barriers to condoms.
In addition, in order to avoid the possibility of spreading the virus to others around you, they offer this good advice:
“Suspected Zika patients should be advised to avoid mosquito exposure for one week by remaining indoors in an air conditioned or screened environment or by wearing EPA-registered insect repellents when outdoors.”
Earlier recommendations included avoiding travel to areas with high rates of Zika virus infection for those who plan to become pregnant or are pregnant.  There are additional details on this and other situations on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website, www.cdc.gov.
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An earlier report can be found here:

Breaking News: Zika can be Sexually Transmitted

Doc's Corner graphic

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

According to medscape.com, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced a confirmed case of Zika virus infection which was caused by sexual contact with an infected person.

Zika is the virus which has been linked to microcephaly in newborns in many areas, especially in Brazil, over the past few months.  The CDC has recommended that women take precautions if they are pregnant or may become pregnant.

Now that they know that Zika can be transmitted via sexual contact, more information is needed on how this can be prevented so that people do not become infected.  Avoiding all sexual contact with someone who may be infected is the wisest choice until more information is released.  The CDC does not say whether or not a condom will stop a partner from becoming infected.

This also brings up the question of whether or not the virus can be transmitted between people by other means, like kissing, sharing food or drinks, shaking hands, coughing/sneezing, etc.

Other questions include:  Why has this suddenly become so problematic, as this virus has existed for years if not longer?  If someone is infected, do the virus and its effects clear up after the person gets better, or is this a longer-term problem?  Hopefully the CDC will publicly release additional details as soon as they have them.

Itchy Eczema Be Gone!

Doc's Corner graphic, 500

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

If you have an itchy reddish spot or itchy small bumps that are driving you crazy, it might be eczema.  Eczema can happen when sensitive skin gets dry and irritated and starts to itch.  It can be intolerably itchy!  Let’s fix that.

Eczema can be in a small spot or on a larger area of skin.  It’s generally treatable if you do exactly what I tell you here:

1.  Buy and use only soaps and lotions without any perfumes or dyes in them.  Most lotions like this are marked “hypoallergenic” (which means it won’t bother people with allergies, like people who get eczema), or some will simply say “no added colors or perfumes.”  Soaps are a bit harder, but try and find one for “sensitive skin,” like some Dove products.  Smell the bar and if it has a strong smell, find one that has no smell, or a milder odor.

2.  This is very important, laundry detergent and anything else that goes on the clothes also needs to be scent and dye free.  Luckily for those of us who suffer from these things, these healthier soaps are now easily found in any store.  They are usually the laundry soaps in the white bottles.  Also, be sure your fabric softener is also dye and perfume free.  These are critical as the clothes will be on your skin and if you sweat, any irritants can cause you to have a skin reaction.

Also, don’t use excess soap in the laundry, and whatever you use, make sure that it rinses out properly.  The same goes for the fabric softener.

3.  Try and avoid bleach, as it is a strong irritant.

4.  After washing hands and after bathing apply the lotion mentioned in step one all over your skin.  Do this every time you bathe and as often as your hands feel dry (in winter, this is usually after each time you wash them).

5.  Avoid using hot water to wash or bathe in, it dries out the skin and makes it more likely to be irritated in general, and this predisposes you to more of a chance of eczema and itchy skin in general.

6.  Avoid overheating your body.  Sweating can cause irritation to the skin as can overheating.  Use 100% cotton clothes from top to bottom and use layers so that if you, or your child, get too warm, you can just remove a layer.  With kids, if their cheeks are red or you see any sweat on their hair you know they are definitely too warm.  You should also touch their upper back under their layers and if they are sweating, remove one or more layers.  Check them often until you get a sense of how many layers they need indoors and out.  They will love you for it!

7.  Keep your home and workplace properly humidified (see my article on winter dry skin and lips here).  If you live in an area where you use heat in the winter, or just a dry area in general, humidity in the home is essential for healthy skin and lips, and as well as for your overall health.  A good humidity level is 45-50% but can be adjusted to your personal preference.  Above 50% you need to watch out for mold issues.

If you follow the above advice your eczema will usually improve and resolve in a couple of weeks, give or take.  If you don’t see improvement, it may not be eczema.  If you are in doubt or have concerns, always check with your personal physician as online information can only do so much.

Take care and thanks for reading, I hope this was helpful for you and your family.  Please share with your friends 🙂

Dr. Coleman

 

 

Is Rahm a sociopath?

broken head sculpture, © Suzanne Coleman, all rights reserved, crop, exp, sig, bckgrn black

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

 

What do you guys think about Rahm Emanuel, the mayor of Chicago, a public servant, telling his motorcade to repeatedly run thru red lights as if the law doesn’t apply to him?  Is he a sociopath?  Let’s think about that.

According to Chicago’s ABC news and the “Chicago Tribune,” as of April 15, 2015 Emanuel’s drivers were found to have run red lights a total of 29 times.  Wow.  Twenty-nine times.  

When Emanuel was caught the first time, his attitude was like “So what?  We’ll pay the tickets.”  Um, dude, that isn’t the point.  

And then, he did it over, and over again.  

This behavior shows no respect for the law, nor for other people who could be injured by the running of the red lights.  This is the kind of behavior you see in a sociopath.  In their delusional minds they believe that the laws and the rules of society just don’t apply to them.  They also believe that they can do whatever they want and get away with it.  And, they often do.  They also have no empathy for other people.  They literally don’t have the ability to care.

This red-light-running behavior is also narcissistic.  In these cases, the person who runs the red light is saying “It’s all about ME, I‘m in a hurry, I shouldn’t have to wait.  I‘m SO very special!  I‘m more important than EVERYONE else.”  Notice the use of a lot of the word “I”…

If these behaviors alone weren’t bad enough, which they are, you need to figure in the fact that Emanuel has repeatedly forcefully said to the public that the red light cameras are there “To make the city safer,” “To stop people from running red lights; it’s so dangerous.”  I mean, seriously.  Can you say HYPOCRITE?  I can.

In addition to the above behaviors, Emanuel has been outright dismissive and abusive to other people on several televised interviews.  These are also behaviors you will see in a sociopath.  

I will bet that most of you didn’t know that approximately one out of every 75 men is a sociopath, and one out of every 300 women.  While it’s currently legal for psychopaths and sociopaths to be mayors, governors, senators, representatives and even presidents in this country, I think that it is in our people’s best interest to pass laws to prevent this from happening.  We need all political candidates to be screened to make sure that they are not dangerous or incapable psychopaths or sociopaths before they are allowed to take office, and those that are already in office must be screened as well.  

A sociopath is by definition a person who behaves in a way which is against the best interests of society.  No normal person would want someone like that running their government.  No one.  The only people who would benefit from that are other psychopaths and sociopaths.  [Which is what we often see in today’s government…]

Many people are calling for the removal of Rahm Emanuel as the mayor of Chicago, maybe this is the time for that to happen.  If so, there needs to be a qualified and sane candidate to replace him.  Can we find one?

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Do you want a sociopath running YOUR city? Let me know what you think in the comments below.  For more information search “sociopath” on this blog for two additional articles with examples of this type of abnormal behavior.  

[Note that the words in quotes attributed to Emanuel are paraphrasing his statements to the public.]

 

 

What is causing all of this anger towards Kaitlyn? Find out here!

The Bachelorette Gossip, capitals regular font and verdana for %22gossip%22

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

There’s been a lot of conversation surrounding the behavior of many fans towards Kaitlyn, the current Bachelorette.  I wanted to take a minute to talk about that.

You might be surprised to learn what the reasons are that some of these people are acting this way.  Have you ever heard of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)?  You might have heard of obsessive-compulsive disorder because it’s been talked about quite a bit on TV over the last decade or so.  Well, OCPD isn’t the same thing, though they have some things in common.

OCPD is where the word “fan” originally came from, well that was back when the full word was used, “fanatic.”  OCPD are people who are literally obsessed and feel compelled to act on those obsessions.  This can be an obsession with anything or anyone.  It can obsessions with famous people, someone down the street, religious ideas, political issues, and more.  The problem comes when the person isn’t able to see clearly and rationally due to their illness, and then acts in an unhealthy way, for themselves and/or others.

With Kaitlyn, her choices this season (and the choices of the producers of the show “The Bachelorette”) have struck a nerve with a good number of people.  Some of the people who have had a problem with her decisions have lashed out at her, becoming degrading and verbally abusive.  This is their attempt to control her behavior, which obviously they have no right to try and do.  But, because people who behave this way often have OCPD or trait, their obsessive disease forces them to express their opposition to what she has done in forceful ways, and that is called compulsion.

In addition, people with personality disorders are generally inflexible and have difficulty compromising with others.  This often becomes an issue when they cannot accept others’ different points of view or life choices.  So when they are faced with someone who lives their life in a way that isn’t one that they would choose, or that they have been told to believe is “right,” then this causes them a lot of internal angst and they can lash out as a result.

Most people with this disorder aren’t aware that they have it and don’t know how to get the help they need in order to stop the problems that it can cause.  OCPD and other personality disorders are not uncommon, in fact one out of every seven people in the US has a personality disorder.  Those who have them will generally benefit from counseling which can literally change their lives for the better.  It’s important to understand that these are diseases, no different than diabetes and high-blood pressure.  And like those diseases, they also require treatment and monitoring to get them under control.  In this case, counseling with a therapist qualified to treat personality disorders and abnormal personality traits is what is needed.

The people who have these disorders do not choose to be impacted this way by their illness, and no one should lash out at them or be hateful towards them in response.  Instead, look at this as an opportunity to be compassionate towards those who cannot control their impulses, try to lead them to the help that they need in a supportive manner.

Also note that OCPD isn’t the only underlying reason for abusive behavior, but I have found that it is a very common one.  There are other personality types that abuse as well, including borderline PD, anti-social PD, and narcissistic PD.  Helping to increase the understanding of the reasons behind why some people do what they do might just lead some people to get the help they need to live a happier and healthier life.

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*Please note that I don’t know any of the people who have made negative comments about Kaitlyn individually, and no one can make a definitive medical diagnosis without a proper evaluation.  This article is meant to share information on general behaviors and what likely causes them and not to label any individual or individuals.

Never hesitate to seek out help from a professional, it just might be the best thing you ever did!  And I always tell people, if one counselor isn’t working out for you, just find a different one.  It’s your health and it’s your decision.

If you found this article helpful, please share with your friends!

“Survivor,” Too much drama?

Rod Allday [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Rod Allday [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

By,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday again!  Last week’s episode of “Survivor” had tongues wagging about what Will did to Shirin.  It was pretty clear that he was WAY out of line.  I think everybody pretty much agreed on that!  The thing is, why didn’t he see it?

I’m sure you all probably saw what happened.  Somebody told Will that other people in the tribe thought he was lying about sharing all of his secret food reward stash with the group.  I think it was Rodney, wasn’t it, who first started saying this about Will behind his back and trying to get everybody else to believe him?  But Rodney’s name never came up…

So somebody tells Will about these conversations and he gets it in his head that it was Shirin that was targeting him, calling him a liar.  I think that he did that because he sees her as an easy abuse target, probably because for whatever reason people haven’t really clicked with her in the game, so he thinks he can attack her and no one will come to stand beside her.  Therefore, Will can just let her have it, and get away with it.  Well, he was right. He started yelling at her, expressing his anger at being called a liar (he wasn’t lying, so that I get), but then he morphed into evil abuser Will and wouldn’t shut up.  He pulled apart her soul, attacking her entire life and her emotional weaknesses.  The poor woman has had a difficult life, she doesn’t need this ass to bully her over it. But he wouldn’t stop, and no one there, not one person, did a thing to intervene.  It was almost like it was a play, and those were their roles, to sit dumbly by, and let him crush her with his emotionally abusive behavior.  It was sick.

Finally Mike came back to camp and pulled her out of there while she was still sitting there in total shock that Will was being so evil.  Then, when they were away from the others, we all saw how it affected her.

I, good person that I am, was thinking that when Will opened up his mouth at the challenge after that, that he was surely going to apologize for his terrible behavior.  But no, that isn’t what happened.  Not at all.

What happened next was that Will showed that he truly is an abuser.  He believed that his verbal and emotional abuse of this other person was a normal way to behave. This tells me that he likely grew up in an environment where this was their “normal.”  People, let me tell you, this is NOT normal.  If you can’t deal with your frustrations with other people in a constructive and respectful way, then you need to walk away.  And if after you cool off you still can’t do it the right way, then you need to get some help. Counseling is a great way to truly improve your health and well-being and to make you a better person to those around you.  And if you have issues like Will, you need to take this step to learn what behaviors are healthy and what behaviors are not healthy. Abusing others is never acceptable.  There is no excuse for that behavior, period.  Counseling can show you how to repair the damages that life has done to the way that you see the world and interact with it, helping you to be a better person for yourself and for those around you.

After last week’s abusive incident, some people on facebook were questioning why the producers of “Survivor” allowed it to happen.  That is a great question.  I would bet that it’s because it is “Survivor.”  Survival of the fittest, a true challenge of one’s humanity, strength, and resilience.

I think that when Shirin finally spoke out against Will, her abuser, she regained her strength.  Even if no one else had stood up for her, she needed to stand up for herself, and she finally did that, arm raised high and all.  Good for you girl, I am behind you, I think we all are on this one.  Just look around.

Is Carly from “The Bachelor” a Sociopath?

 

The Bachelor Gossip, framed

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

 

She’s been called “evil.”  She’s been called a “bully.”  But, what is she really?

Well, we can’t really tell just from some clips of her, because you know how editing can make someone seem like something they’re not, but what we saw in those clips does give us an idea of what kind of a person she might be.  Let’s talk about what behavior we see in those clips.

She seems to lack empathy.  This means that she seems to have no heart, and doesn’t seem to feel for other people, and for what they are going through.  This is not normal.

She seems to enjoy watching other people suffer.  This is not normal.

She seems to do things to make other people suffer.  This is not normal.

She seems to manipulate Chris Soules, and seems to try to manipulate the other girls, so that they will all hate Britt.  This is not normal.

She jumps all over one thing that Britt said and can’t seem to understand that people can say things about something and then change their minds after they learn more about it.  Carly seems really rigid and inflexible in her beliefs.  That is not normal.

What do all of these behaviors have in common?  They are behaviors that you can see in someone who is a sociopath.  Now, I want to be clear, this isn’t saying that Carly is a sociopath, we don’t have enough information to make that type of assessment.  But it is important for everyone to understand that “bullies” and “mean girls” can have behaviors characteristic of sociopaths and other types of psychopaths.  “Sociopath” and “psychopath” are terms that refer to people with types of mental illnesses that are called personality disorders.

The medical term for sociopath is “anti-social personality disorder.”   There are several types of personality disorders, all of which can cause problems in relationships, but anti-social personality is one of the worst.  Approximately one out of every 75 men, and one out of every 300 women is a sociopath.  People with anti-social personality disorder can be very destructive to those around them; they often seriously disrupt families, businesses, organizations, governments, and society in general.  And they are all around us.

How do you know when you are dealing with a sociopath?  Sometimes it can be hard to tell because some of them are very intelligent and hide their bad behaviors very well.  On the other hand, there are the ones that aren’t trying to hide their behaviors.  Sometimes people call them assholes, and sometimes people call them jerks.  Sometimes people just don’t know what to call them, they are so completely abnormal in their behavior, it leaves others speechless.

But whether they are easy to identify or not, sociopaths do things that other people would not.  Some deliberately hurt other people for their own personal entertainment.  Some spread malicious lies behind other people’s backs in order to cause chaos and disruption.  Some act in a calculated manner to ruin people’s relationships, their reputations, their jobs, and more.  Sociopaths live as though the law and the rules do not apply to them, and that they can do whatever they want and get away with it.  Ethics don’t exist in their world.

And to top it all off, some sociopaths will find the horrible things that they are doing to be really funny.  And they will enjoy planning and executing them, like it’s a game.  You can often find them smirking to themselves as they plot against you, literally.  If you see any of these behaviors in someone, think sociopath.

An interaction with a sociopath will often elicit a strongly negative reaction from you, and you may not be able to figure out why you are feeling so upset.  It might be because you can sense that they are violating your boundaries, or that they are showing their lack of concern for right and wrong.  Pay attention to those feelings, and remember this article if you ever encounter anyone like this.  It’s usually best to stay away from them if you can.  But if you can’t, it may be helpful to directly confront their behaviors in front of a group of other people who can witness what happens (unless they are sociopaths too).  Otherwise the sociopath will keep on manipulating and lying and playing their evil little games behind everyone else’s backs.

 

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Please note that this is a very broad and complex topic and that this article only discusses limited aspects of it.  The above is for informational and educational purposes only.  If you have any specific questions or concerns, please see a physician or mental health professional.

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Beautiful pink explosion of nature!  Original abstract art for your home or office, by Suzanne Coleman. ©Suzanne Coleman, all rights reserved.

Beautiful pink explosion of nature! Original abstract art for your home or office, by Suzanne Coleman.
©Suzanne Coleman, all rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Art for sale HERE:  https://www.etsy.com/listing/211491305/bright-pink-flower-abstract-art-on?ref=listing-shop-header-0

 

 

Bachelor Gossip: Whitney and that VOICE!

 

The Bachelor Gossip, framed

 

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

Ok, first of all, I want to say Whitney seems like a really decent person.  She’s got her life together, she hasn’t been shown to be mean like Carly to the other girls, and she respects herself.  I wanted to be clear on that because I’m not writing this to put her down in any way, I’m writing it because I have noticed something about the way that she speaks which I think that we as women should all take a moment to think about in regards to ourselves and the women and girls around us.  I mean for this to be a positive post, not a negative post.

So if you’re watching ABC’s “The Bachelor” (and we know you all are!) you know that Whitney is a young lady from Chicago who is vying for the attention of a farmer dude from somewhere in the middle of nowhere, pretty much literally.  She’s one of the final three ladies left before he decides who he likes the best for himself (she can say yes or no, but they usually say yes…).

From the first time they showed Whitney* on the show, I noticed that her voice was very high pitched and a bit whiney.  It came across as if she was trying to sound like a little girl who is trying to get attention.  I have noticed this same kind of behavior in many girls and women before.  They seem to be deliberately, though not necessarily consciously, mimicking a young girl’s voice and behavior.  I think that it’s something that some women do subconsciously in order to get attention from men.  I think it might have to do with their relationships with men growing up, or other people around them, who might respond more willingly to what sounds like a young girl who needs help.

I have noticed that men do seem more interested in women who speak this way.  Men may be hard-wired to do so.  And girls who find that they get more attention by using this type of voice are probably more likely to continue to use this behavior to get attention as they grow up into adults.

I think that women, on the other hand, respond more negatively to this type of behavior.  I think that when we see a young lady or woman acting like a child who doesn’t speak in a way that we would expect for their age and maturity level, it bothers us.

When someone speaks this way, it might also be related to some kind of anxiety over one’s self and how you fit in with others around you, like a self-esteem issue or insecurity.  Anxiety can cause the voice to rise upwards in pitch, so it may be a part of why the high voice happens as well.

I would like to suggest to the women and young women out there who find themselves speaking in a voice that is higher than their actual voice, or in a submissive or needy way towards men or others, to make yourselves aware of that behavior and see if you can stop that habit.  I’d like to see all girls and women proud of who they are, and not acting overly submissive, like a child, towards others to get attention or anything else that they might want or need.  You should not be afraid to speak out and speak up for yourself.  If you find that you do feel that way, then that is something that you should explore.  I am a strong supporter of counseling as a way to find the strongest, healthiest you.

So getting back to “The Bachelor,” I’m pretty sure he picks Whitney in the end.  Why?  On the first show they highlighted her a lot and it really stuck out to me.  They seem to do that with the finalists and more so with the winner.  Just a feeling… I guess we’ll find out soon enough!

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* Now I want to note, that I mention Whitney because so many of you noticed her voice.  I thought it would be a great opportunity to bring up this topic and I am using her voice as an example, but please realize that none of the discussion comments in here are about her in particular.

 

 

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A Good Article on Dyslexia and its Impacts on a Person

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

I read this article on dyslexia and thought it was very worth reading, so I thought I would share the link with you here.

It is entitled “Social and Emotional Problems Related to Dyslexia.”

http://www.ldonline.org/article/19296/#.VNNtNrC1whc.facebook

It sounds like dyslexia is not only difficulty with reading and writing, but more likely a problem with the wiring or processing in the brain which can therefore also impact other areas of a dyslexic’s life.  This should be very encouraging information for those who have this condition.  It may give you more insight into different issues you may have encountered in your life that you did not realize were a part of this disorder.  And once we know what we are dealing with, we often have more ways to work to improve our situations.

Also the article mentions the International Dyslexia Association (IDA) which might be of value as a resource.

I hope you find this information to be of value, take a look!

 

 

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