by,

Suzanne Coleman

So here’s the story.  There are a bunch of us sitting at a table in a popular restaurant having dessert when one of the guys brings up something that happened to him in his dating past, and asks what the women think about what he did and what happened after that.

So as best as I can recall it, he tells us the following story:

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I had met this woman and we went on a few dates together.  We were getting along fine and she was in my apartment one day when I played back a message on my answering machine.  I shouldn’t have done that with her there, in retrospect!

It was my wife calling about the divorce we were going through.  I hadn’t told the woman I was dating that I was still married.  It never came up.

My date left after hearing that message.  The next day I opened up my front door and found out that she had come by and left the flowers I had given her recently  outside of my apartment, turned upside down.

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So after telling us this story, he turned to us, a questioning look on his face, and asked us what we thought.

“Well,” I told him, “you were still married and you didn’t tell her that.  That comes across as pretty creepy.  You weren’t being honest with her, it was like you were lying to her the whole time.”

Another woman spoke up, agreeing that he should have told her his exact status, as it matters to many women.

Some other opinions were voiced, and it was interesting that some of the people there were only concerned with how SHE responded to his behavior, and not with what HE did to her in the first place.  There were comments about how she shouldn’t have left the flowers there, how could she do such a thing!

One man found it particularly upsetting and shocking that a woman would enter the man’s building and leave the flowers that he gave her outside of his door, upside down, returning them to him, no longer wanted.  He felt that her behavior was some great violation.  He was upset that she was “trespassing,” though I don’t recall any mention of a secure building during the story.  But even if she entered a secure building, she was buzzed in by him or someone else.

I found these responses interesting, to say the least, and very telling about these people’s views on women and their “rights,” as well as men and their behaviors.

Above all, I thought that this woman’s message was clear, “you are a jerk and I don’t want your flowers.”  Personally, I applaud her reaction.  She stood up for herself against what she thought was a violation of her trust, and a lack of respect for her as a person.  She made a statement that she had every right to make, as we all do.

So now I turn to you, ladies and gentlemen, what do YOU think?

(Click on “Leave a comment” above to let us know.)