Crazy Shi*’s Going Down

The Bachelor Gossip, framed

by,

Suzanne Coleman

Ok guys let’s talk Bachelor!  What did you all think of tonight’s episode?  It’s FINALLY getting INTERESTING!

I’m going to jump around a bit, so hang on.  I want to start with Lace.  You remember her, the girl who keeps telling us she isn’t “crazy?”  Yeah, her.  So I wrote on fb last week that people need to just give her a chance, she is clearly working on herself and I commend her for that.  I know SO many people who should be as brave and insightful as she is, but haven’t taken that next step yet to reach out and get some help with their issues.  We all have them.  Counseling can be the most amazing thing that has ever happened in your life, I’m not kidding, so if you’re thinking about it, take that next step and give it a chance.  Just remember, not every therapist/psychologist is going to be someone you will want to work with, if you get one you don’t like, just try another one.  Trust me.

So what happened with Lace?  Well, at the end of tonight’s episode, Lace pulls Ben aside and tells him that she just isn’t feeling it.  She needs to take some time to focus on herself before she can be in a relationship with anyone.  Smart woman.  She says she has a tattoo somewhere on her that says something like “you can’t truly love anyone else until you truly love yourself.”  Ah, beautiful words.  So Lace walks away from the insanity (and you’ll see, there certainly was some insanity tonight), tears in her eyes, off to work for a better and brighter future for herself.  Good luck girl!

As a side note, Lace is the second girl to already ditch Ben!  While this is probably the most realistic (to real life I mean) season so far, where girls reject guys they don’t like, and don’t all sit around waiting for that ONE guy’s attention… with Ben’s issues of being “unlovable” I worry a bit about him.  But I think he’s making some good connections with other girls at this point so he’s probably (hopefully) more focused on those positives.  Like Jubilee.

You all know Jubilee right?  What a gorgeous woman OMG.  (Except for me personally I’m not a fan of the tattoos, but it’s her body…)  She was telling the other girls that before the last one-on-one date card arrived that she was pretty sure Ben wasn’t into girls like her, complicated girls with LAYERS.  She might be right, it’s kind-of the Bachelor theme to generally have lots of more superficial types of people.

That day’s date card comes and it’s for her!  She is floored and yells out “YES!” or something like that but then quickly realizes the other girls will be sad so she apologizes for that.  Hard situation to be in, glad I’m not there!

For their date Ben has a helicopter fly in and land on the Bachelor patio to pick them up.  Crazy, right?  I’ve been in one once and I was freaking scared, that’s for sure.  Luckily the pilot was awesome, a war veteran, shout out to you dude.

When Ben and Jub are walking to get in the helicopter Jubilee is scared and she says “anybody else want to go on my date?!” to the other girls as a joke, a way to release the stress of the fear of flying.  The producers show that the other girls, some of them atleast, are pissed off by her saying that because they thought she was rubbing the date in their faces.  Um, no, she was joking.  It was pretty obvious, at least to me.  Maybe it’s a cultural thing?  I don’t know.  Amber seemed to have a bee up her a** about that and everything else “Jubilee” for the rest of the night.  I don’t know what her deal is, I don’t even remember her from her original season…

So Ben and Jubilee go off on their awesome ride and she has a great time with him.  They end up really talking and she opens up about her past.  She was adopted… AND I DON’T KNOW THE REST because damn it I was getting my dinner and MISSED IT!!!  I know, what kind of a blogger AM I?  Sorry 😦  [I hope you can fill in the blanks below for me and everyone else.]

So right after she really opens up I walk back in the room and Jubilee is all sad and Ben says how much he really likes her because she is REAL and opens up and shares her truths with him (awesome!).  He says he LIKES complicated, deep people.  Wow, that’s great for her since that’s the VERY thing that she was worried about all day.

They get all cuddly together, and we wonder, will it last?

Back at the house, Amber and some of the other girls (sorry I can’t remember which ones were into this drama) all jump on the “we hate Jubliee” train.  It’s not because she got the date and is beautiful with insane curves, it’s because she’s inconsiderate or whatever, so they SAY.  While that is stewing, Ben comes in for the evening and has something to say.

Ben tells all of the girls that two people he cares about were just killed in an accident (sorry for your loss Ben) and the room gets sad.  He starts talking with the group of girls and Olivia (shockingly, I know) grabs him first to keep him all to herself.  No control issues THERE….

She starts telling him about her ugly ankles, I’m not kidding!  And she says nothing about his loss.  He’s clearly disappointed in her self-centered behavior, but in the end, HE FREAKING PICKS HER ANYWAY (last rose)!  Ugh.. AND he lets the super cute girl Jami go!  Oh well, it is HIS life after all.

So after a bit, Jubilee grabs him and takes him over to a private massage table that she went out of her way to set up for him, apparently he had told her that his favorite thing IN THE WORLD was getting a massage.  She, like a good friend who listens, remembered that he said that and set it up for him.  Seriously, can I marry her?  (jk I’m straight, but you get the idea.)

She gives him a short massage and he is super happy and feels much better afterwards.  While at the same time the other girls are literally shooting silver daggers out of their eyes across the garden at Jubilee.  Yes, literally, it was awesome, very sci-fi.

Well, Jubilee taking more personal time with cutie Ben was the LAST straw for insecure Amber who starts a mini-riot amongst the other girls while they sit on their butts waiting around for Ben to notice them… um, just a note, TAKE SOME INITIATIVE!  It doesn’t make you aggressive to be assertive, you need to stand up for what you want, or you may never get it.  Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging.

Amber can’t take the stress anymore though she also has a rose and is safe tonight (she got the group date rose).  She gets up and almost runs over to where Jubliee is just peacefully hanging out by herself.  Jubliee is feeling a bit apart from the other girls already, she has a history and her own issues which are coming into play here (see my note above about counseling being very helpful).  Jubilee is isolating herself a bit, which isn’t helping as the others seem to be using her pullback from them to increase the target on her back.

Amber comes over to where Jubilee is and says “Come.”  Seriously, like you might speak to a dog.  That was not cool.  Amber, please work on your interpersonal skills, thank you.  Jubliee gets upset because she feels like she is being corralled by Amber and brought to the slaughter by the group of girls waiting for her to show up with Amber.  So Jubilee goes upstairs and starts getting upset, Ben hears her and kindly checks to see what is happening.  He is talking with her when Amber walks in and, instead of trying to understand what Jubilee is dealing with, Amber starts in on her again, attacking her and her actions.  Again, Amber, get a bit of help on these interpersonal things, please.

Ben ends up stopping the impending nightmare and separates the two to their separate corners.  They both survived, this round.  We’ll see how it goes next time!

I have to say one more thing about Olivia.  This is my first blog this season so unless you have seen my fb posts, you might not know how annoying Olivia’s mouth is.  …I never thought I’d use that phrase about another person, but there it is.  She literally looks like a scary skeleton, when she just sits there, fake-looking white teeth (too many of them too) and a gaping black hole of a mouth that takes you into who knows where… the dungeon is calling, screams are heard and children go suddenly missing…  chains rattle…

So who is/are your picks for the long haul here?  I like Jubilee, Jo Jo, and Emily.  I have to give a girl-to-girl shout out to Emily who rocked the soccer field like a pro tonight!  That woman is wild and dedicated, great job, you’d be an asset to anyone’s team.

How are you all liking thie season so far?  Better than the last one?  Are you watching the after show too?  I have been, though it’s not consistently interesting (sorry guys, I’m honest).  I did like that actress who was on tonight though, Paget Brewster, girl, you cracked me up 🙂

Talk to you all later, hope you had fun, see you next week!

 

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Big Brother is BACK!

"Big Brother," they're always watching you.   Image:  Petr Novák, Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

“Big Brother,” they’re always watching you. Image: Petr Novák, Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

by,

Suzanne Coleman

Anybody want to talk “Big Brother?!”  Are we excited that it’s FINALLY back on!?!  Holy cow!  Finally.  Phew.  I don’t think I could’ve waited any longer.  Really.  With all this rain we’ve been having, I NEEDED my time in the California sunshine!

Let’s chat about the new guests on the show.  So far, I can see I might be a little annoyed by… a few of them.  I’m not a fan of being annoyed…  Did anybody watch it last summer?  If you did, then you know what I mean about ANNOYING players.  😉  But, they certainly will give us a lot to talk about!

Wednesday was the first episode, and it went pretty well.  I love that guy James’ accent, so cool.  He’s pretty relaxing to listen to, which I have a feeling is going to come in pretty handy, pretty soon.

So on the second episode it starts to get a bit crazy.  All of the 16 guests are now stuffed into the house, falling over the edges of the chairs in the living room because there just aren’t enough seats for everyone there!  The camera starts spending a lot of time of this guy Jace.  I don’t know about you, but I think he’s getting annoying already.  Isn’t he the guy that called a woman he didn’t even know “sweetie” or something like that?  Geez dude, you don’t even know her, how patronizing.  And he’s not even in his 70s!  Just don’t pinch her butt or you’re going get punched in the face.

Then there’s that other guy, Jason, wow.  He’s just too much for me.  I guess I don’t find histrionic personalities fun to watch.  Plus, the whole looking-like-Pee-wee-Herman thing is totally off-putting.  If you didn’t already know, Pee-wee was an odd guy who was in the entertainment business quite a while back.  He was caught masturbating in a children’s movie, surrounded by little kids.  Yeah I know, disgusting.

I’m not sure if I like Da’Vonne or not.  After the first episode I really thought she’d be my favorite, but after last night, I’m not so sure that’s going to be the case.  I am looking forward to seeing if the poker dealer and the poker player can feel each other out.  I bet that they do.  When you’re work in the same field as someone there’s an unwritten language between people.  If one recognizes the other… that could be interesting!  It might just blow up somebody’s game.

Vanessa, the poker player, is going to be interesting to watch.  She was right when she said that reading people, holding your own secrets well, and keeping a calm keel throughout the game will be essential to getting far.

I think Shelli is so cute!  And her attraction to the one and only attractive guy they put on the show is obvious, I mean, she was bright red when she was sitting next to him on the couch.  That’d be Clay the mighty fine farmer-man I’m talking about here.  Any girl would probably be like, “Uh huh, you fine man, come over here and talk to me.”  And Kaitlyn from “The Bachelorette” would probably like him…  I mean, because he’s a farmer, and you all know about her famous field-plowing comment…  😀

I think that Becky the outdoorsy girl from Colorado will probably do well.  I think she’ll fly under the radar because she’s quiet and calm (so far!) versus the others who are so loud and attention-seeking.  Those will be the ones who become everyone’s targets, sooner or later.

I’m a little worried about that guy John.  He looks like he’s sick, so hopefully he’s not.

Predictions on who’s going to the end?  Yikes.  That’s a hard one!  I think Shelli could do well.  She’s very together (except for around that Clay!).  Plus, she’s nice AND pretty so people won’t get too annoyed by having her around.  I think James has a good chance, for similar reasons.  He’s very calm, collected, and not a big guy so he’s not likely to be seen as a male threat, though he did win the first competition.  I think John might be smart enough to do it if his energy doesn’t get the worst of him with the other house guests.  Vanessa talks a good game, but I wouldn’t bet on her until I get to know her better.

So there you have it people, our summer has begun!  Let’s get to it and have fun out there.  Let us know YOUR thoughts in the comments by clicking the comment button above.

The Glee is Gone

by,

Suzanne Coleman, MD

Something unexpected happened tonight, while watching the last episode of “Glee” I realized how much the show meant to me.  I’m not sure if you’re allowed to write blog posts while you’re still crying… it does make it harder.

It’s hard to say good-bye.  This show snuck into my heart week after week, year after year with its joyful music and very serious stories about real people in real life.  Maybe that’s how we could handle watching all of the awful things that happened to these people, by injecting the very sad with the joy of the music and the relationships that they made together.

On top of entertainment, this show was a social experiment.  And I dare to say, it worked.  Is it because of “Glee” that people who are social minorities are now so much more accepted by larger cultural groups?  I think it is.  I think “Glee” started the snowball down the mountain and people just kept adding on more snow as the ideas traveled around from social media to real social circles.  It ended up changing lives, for example with new laws like allowing all people the equal opportunity to marry the person they love.

Do I give “Glee” too much credit?  I don’t think so.

There are so many things that “Glee” has done.  They taught us that people are all different.  They have shown us that having conversations with people you think that you don’t like can lead you to change your mind.  They show us that relationships can form even between the most unlikely of friends, and they can be the ones that are there for you when no one else is.  They give us hope for the future, so many of us who have been there, where they were, and the so many that still are.

The finale was a perfect way to close the show.  It brought us back to where many of the main characters were before Glee club, reminding us of all the struggles they went through, of how hard it was for many of them.  Then it showed us where they are today and where they might go in the future.  It showed us that they not only survived their difficulties, but that they succeeded in life and were happy.  In the future they stayed friends.  That was the best part.

I was doing fine watching tonight’s series finale episode until they started talking about Finn.  Finn…

Finn was the popular boy, the handsome one, the one with the kind heart inside of him who stood up for what was right, and not what was necessarily popular.  He was the hero who crossed the line to do the right thing, even when it meant getting into conflicts with his own peers.  He was a role model.  He was happy.  He was growing as a person.

And, then, in the real world, the actor who played him so well, Cory Monteith, died from a drug overdose.  When it happened I had no idea he was using drugs.  I was shocked to hear the news.  I flashed back to the not-so-long-ago loss of another great young, vibrant, and charming actor, Heath Ledger.  He also died from abusing drugs.

In my life I have seen so many celebrities die from drugs.  They stack up the bodies in rows.  So many talented, gifted, tortured, lonely, or misguided people.

Drugs are no joke people.  All it takes is one time, one dose, one try, and you or your friend can be dead. It’s not a game, it’s not fun.  It’s dangerous, it’s horrible.

If you are depressed or feel alone, please reach out to someone, a friend, a counselor, a hotline.  Do it before it goes too far.  There is hope.  Find a good doctor who cares.

And to those who say they use drugs “for fun,” I have this to say.  Drug addiction is probably the worst thing that can happen to you.  It is not fun.  Don’t do drugs, not even once.  All it takes is once to become an addict.  Don’t do it, it isn’t cool.  What it is, is disgusting and sad and terrible.  Never let someone convince you that it’s worth the risk, because it isn’t.

The loss of Cory was hard and when the show experienced that, it hit everyone.  All of us in the audience and all of those who knew him in real life.  The show changed.  It became like I am now, sad, very sad.  This stalled the show, a show about joy.

They came back and tried again.  Last season (or whatever you call it these days, when they were in NY and OH) was very good.   I thought they were heading in the direction of a newer, different “Friends” show.  I know they could have succeeded with what they were doing at the time, they really had something there, but they decided instead to take a step backwards and bring all of the characters back to Ohio to wrap up the show there.  I hope they consider a future spin-off in New York, in the direction they were heading.  If they re-watch those episodes, they can see what I mean.  They may have hinted at that possibility during the finale tonight, when they said that most of the main characters would be in NY.  We’ll see what happens, that would be really fun.

I need to give some shout outs, now that I’ve stopped crying, though my eyes are still hurting.  To Sue Sylvester, you were awesome.  You made me laugh more than any other character this season.  It makes sense, since you were played by real-world comedian Jane Lynch.  Love the track suit lol.

To Rachel Berry, played by Lea Michele, you have the most amazing gift.  Your singing is very special.  I wish that the show had continued to highlight that, but they chose to diversify instead early on.

To the new girl with the long brown hair, omg, you are also an amazing singer!  I only heard you sing once by yourself but you have a real future, never doubt it.  I believe this was Laura Dreyfuss who impressed me on that recent episode.

To principal Figgins, you were awesome.  I loved your character, I don’t know why you had to go, but you had to go.  I will never forget that it was truly a “kid-i-knee stone.”  Thank you actor Iqbal Theba for the laughs.

To Blaine (Darren Criss), your duets with Kirk (Chris Colfer) were some of my favorite songs.  Thanks for your cuteness and style and for hanging in there through the hard times.  Two great actors and singers, you will be missed for your joy.

Mercedes (Amber Riley), your exit song tonight was the best I’ve ever heard you sing.  Wonderful, keep on singing.

Becky (Lauren Potter), you did a great job, great acting.

And to everyone else, all of the actors, directors, producers, crew, thank you for all of the work you put into creating such a special show for so many of us.  It was well worth the effort and will live on forever in each of us and in society.  Well done.

 

 

Beware of the Ratings on Yelp

shocked, baby, face, yelp, warning, beware, ratings, need to know,

Image courtesy of mjtmail on Flickr.

If you haven’t heard of it before, yelp.com is an online rating website for businesses all over the the world where people like you and I can rate businesses as well as write up reviews (unpaid) and have them posted online for other people to see.  As a new user of yelp, I recently found out that the ratings shown for the businesses do not reflect all of the reviews submitted on those businesses.  When you use this site, you need to be aware of this, especially in order to avoid really negative business experiences like the ones I had.  I don’t want to see anyone else put into a bad position when dealing with people who aren’t ethical business people.  No one deserves to have their equipment damaged or to have a business give them a firm quote and then force them to pay more for what they had already agreed upon.

Here’s what I’m talking about.  When I recently reviewed a local business with whom I had had a very bad experience, I noticed that there was another patron who had also had a very bad experience.  But I noticed other reviewers with ok and great experiences.  I was pretty suspicious of the review with the 5 stars, but maybe it was legit.  After I submitted my one-star review I skimmed the business’ page again and noticed a little note at the very bottom of the reviews which said “filtered” reviews.  “Hmmm,” I asked myself, “what is this?”

So I clicked on it, and found tons of one star reviews and a couple of 5 star reviews that had been hidden from view!  What?!  I read through a good number of them and it wasn’t hard to realize that these one star reviews were all very legitimate.  They had specific and applicable details and were all different from each other in complaints and writing style.  And, having experienced the nightmare that was this business myself, I had no problem believing any one of them as true.  On the other hand, the five star reviews gave very little detail and were a bit too complimentary so they may have been fake, but it’s hard to say for sure.

I was a bit concerned about why all of these one-star reviews were being hidden from consumers, so I looked around for answers.  I clicked on the “about filtered reviews” link to see what I could find out.  It says that these reviews are not included in the company’s star rating.  “Why not?” I asked myself, “they are all legitimate reviews!”  I was starting to smell something a bit fishy, and it wasn’t the soup.

So I submitted a question to the company, and they responded quickly.  They said:

“Thanks for contacting us with your concerns.

We try to showcase the most helpful and reliable reviews among the millions that are submitted to the site. Unfortunately not all reviews make the cut, even some legitimate ones. However it’s worth noting that the system isn’t static. It does what it can with the information at hand, and regularly revisits each review as it learns more. As a result, filtered reviews can find their way back onto business profile pages and vice versa.”

After I received this, I felt placated.  “Ahh, ok, they’ve got a system, it’s all under control.”  But I then was prompted to go back to the site and see what happened with my recent reviews, and lo and behold, the two one-star reviews (both very legitimate and appropriate) I had written had both been filtered and placed in the “hidden” and uncounted section of the two businesses’ pages.  “What?!”  Ok, this can’t be right.  So I wrote back to the customer service rep who had responded to me and asked to speak to someone about their filtering system as it didn’t seem to be working properly.  I haven’t heard back.  So much for good customer service.

If their system works as they say, as more information comes in, the businesses’ ratings should be adjusted to reflect them.  That means that the one company that I reviewed which had 37 one-star reviews out of 54 reviews total should have a lower rating than 2.5 stars, and with so many one-star ratings, many more of them (if not all of them) should be placed on the business’ official ratings page and counted.

It sounds like their system may work to filter out fake 5-star reviews, but it seems to be doing so at the loss of keeping the valid one-star reviews.  In reality, it is more important to know about the one-star reviews than avoid some fake 5-star reviews.  I’d take another look at my filtering system if I was working at yelp, and redesign it so it better filters out only fake reviews and maintains the legitimate ones for consumers to use.  The entire point of the site is to (well for yelp’s owners to make money off of free consumer reviews…. but) provide honest reviews to consumers so that they can make good decisions about where to spend their money and where to get the services they need.  Knowing about bad businesses is a critical component of this service.

So I think the important lesson here is that if you choose to use yelp to help you decide whether or not to patronize a certain business, or to choose which business is the best fit for your needs, that you not only read the business’ main reviews but are also sure to check if they have any filtered reviews and to read those as well.  I certainly wish I had done that before I went to use the two businesses that I ended up giving one-star reviews.  It would have saved me a lot of time, money and distress in the end.

If you have any questions or comments please feel free to post below, I look forward to hearing what you think.

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