“Bachelorette” Missteps

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Suzanne Coleman, MD

I thought that the season preview footage that they showed at the end of the this week’s episode of “The Bachelorette” was very disturbing.  It was implying that Kaitlyn had sex with one of the men on the show and that afterwards she felt terrible about it, and basically acted like her life was over.  Wow.  What country is this?  What century?  Disturbing.

This isn’t to say that there is never a reason to be upset about making what you later feel is a bad decision, but their portrayal of the situation took women back 1000 years.

Let’s discuss some basics here.  Human beings are animals.  All creatures exist for one reason only, biologically, and that is to reproduce.  Our entire body and existence is to serve that one purpose, to propagate the species.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with the feelings, drives, desires and actions which lead to that.  It is only through the attempts to control and manipulate the behaviors of others which societies have been enacting for centuries that this becomes so “confusing.”

In summary, when it comes to sex the only thing you need to decide is whether a decision is right for you and anyone else involved, that’s it.  Be safe and plan for what you want out of life, but grown women should not be writhing with horror and regret at having consensual sex, ridiculous.  Sad.  Manipulative.  Controlling.  Misogynistic.  Let’s end that.

Looking for meaning, the meaning of life


Suzanne Coleman

I was one of those intellectual types, always thinking, searching, wondering.  Wondering things like, “What is the meaning of life?  Why am I here?  What is my purpose?”  I searched for meaning for decades, and then, when I was 42, it hit me.

The meaning of life is love.

Or, more specifically, being in love with someone with whom you want to have kids.  The meaning of life is the same for us as it is for all other living things, we exist to reproduce.  There is no higher or grander meaning, though our lives can certainly have more depth.  We exist to fall in love, to mate and have kids; we exist to perpetuate the species.

On the one hand it’s not a very romantic realization, but on the other hand, it is.


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